Styxx Page 8
Chapter Eight
Wanting to beat Acheron for his selfish thought that came through loud and clear, Styxx covered Acheron's mouth with his hand, and grabbed him. With no clear-cut plan, he pulled him toward the only other door in the room. It led to a bathing chamber. Styxx tried to pick Acheron up to carry him, but his brother dropped his weight, making it impossible.
Even so, couldn't leave him here and save his own ass. He couldn't.
Styxx was still trying to make it to the door on the opposite side of the room when Estes entered from the bedroom they'd just left.
He went cold as Estes's jaw dropped.
After a few seconds, a slow smile curved his uncle's lips. "Well, well . . . what gifts the gods do give us who are faithful. "
Styxx released Acheron and ran for the opposite door, but Estes caught him before he could open it. He slammed him back against the wall with enough force to knock the air from his lungs.
"My little squirrel . . . If you wanted to stay with me, all you had to do was ask. "
"I hate you! Let go of me!"
In spite of his struggles, Estes pulled something from his purse while holding him against the wall.
"Acheron!" Styxx held his hand out to him. "Help me, brother!"
Shaking his head adamantly, Acheron stepped back and sank to the floor in abject submission.
Furious at him, Styxx shoved at Estes with everything he had. It loosened Estes's hold enough that he was able to break free. But he didn't make it far before Estes had him again. This time, he covered Styxx's face with a rag.
Styxx bellowed and fought, but before he could do much his vision dulled and the room swam. An instant later, everything went black.
* * *
Styxx came awake slowly to find himself tied to a chair. It took him a few seconds to clear his vision enough to see that he was in his uncle's study. Estes sat behind a large table in a padded chair similar to his father's throne. But what really pissed him off was that Acheron knelt on the cold stone floor at the right side of his uncle. Completely naked, Acheron had his gaze on the ground. He sat back on his haunches with his hands resting on his parted thighs, within easy reach of Estes.
You fucking idiot!
If Acheron had only run with him, they wouldn't have been caught.
"So you're finally awake. "
Styxx lifted his gaze to his uncle. "You can't keep me here. "
"No? You rode out alone. And I'm quite certain you didn't tell your father where you were going. I know you damn sure didn't tell him what you intended to do once you got here. Even if he did know where you were, all I'd have to say is that you left and that I have no idea what happened to you. You're a prince. Any of your father's rivals or enemies would love to lay hands on you. For ransom. Torture . . . and other things. You have no idea how much money a prince is worth on the market. " He smiled as if the thought warmed him through and through. "Especially one so young, pretty, and fair. Blue-eyed blonds are the most valued of all, even when they're scarred and used. "
Estes reached for a sugared fig that was in a small dish on his desk. He cradled it in his palm then held it out for Acheron. Cupping his uncle's hand, Acheron took it into his mouth, and gently laved Estes's palm and suckled his fingers.
The sight disgusted Styxx.
"Because of your arrogance and actions, you leave me with a bit of a dilemma. " Estes pressed his thumb into Acheron's mouth so that his brother could suck on it in a manner that let Styxx know fast his brother was extremely skilled with using his tongue to please others. "Tell me, Styxx, do you know what erotiki sfairi are?"
Sex balls? That would be the closest translation. One that made him fearful of answering.
"I'm going to wager that you don't. " He pulled his hand back. "Acheron, open your mouth and let your brother see yours. "
When Acheron obeyed, Styxx feared he might vomit. Down the entire center of Acheron's tongue was a solid line of small silver balls that had been pierced into it.
So that was the pain that had caused him to be "treated" in the temple.
"Do you know what they're used for?"
Styxx glared at him. "I think I can guess. "
Estes gave him a cruel, taunting smile as he pulled the hem of his chiton up until he was completely exposed to Styxx's gaze from the waist down.
Styxx quickly looked away as bile rose high in his throat.
"Acheron? Let us show the prince what you can do with your jewelry. "
Styxx slammed his eyes shut as Acheron rose up on his knees and leaned over his uncle's chair. He didn't want to see this. But he couldn't close his ears while his brother pleasured his uncle.
"Stop!" Styxx roared as he fought against the ropes that held him tight.
But neither took mercy on him, nor did they stop until Estes was fully sated.
His uncle drew a ragged breath then laughed as he stroked Acheron's hair like the fur of a beloved pet. "How I've missed that sweet mouth of yours, Acheron. I'll raise the price on you come the morrow. While you're well used for your tender age, you are also far more talented than any I know. Now go . . . prepare yourself for your next patron. "
Without a single word or any protest, Acheron rose and obeyed.
Horrified, Styxx tried his best to blot all of this out. Why had he even tried to save Acheron from this? His brother seemed so content and receptive. How, he had no idea. He'd rather be dead than submit to such an animal as Estes or live such a life.
Getting up, Estes moved to stand by his side. He grabbed Styxx's jaw in a fierce grip. "Look at me, boy!"
He opened his eyes.
"I know what you're thinking. You would never stand to be treated thus. You'd fight until you died. After all, you defeated me when we fought in the arena. You could defeat me again. But I think I shall teach you a few things just so you know exactly how powerful you really aren't. " He tightened his grip so that his fingers bit into Styxx's jaw. "First, when you won against me, it was in a fair fight with rules of combat. In real life and war, there's no such thing and I never fight fair. But I will give you a chance. You make it from here to the front door and I will free both of you. I'll even do better than that. I'll give the two of you an escort with fanfare home to your father's loving arms. All you have to do is make it to the front door. " He cut the ropes holding Styxx.
Knowing it was a trick, but with no idea how, Styxx bolted for the door. The damned thing was locked. He fumbled with the latch. Before he could free it, Estes grabbed him.
Styxx elbowed him in the stomach.
Estes lifted him from the waist and threw him on the ground. Rolling, Styxx shot to his feet and tried to reach the sword that was on Estes's wall. Estes caught him at the waist again and wrapped his entire body around Styxx's. They fell to the floor. Styxx did his best to break the hold, but it was impossible.
Worse, in this position, he could feel Estes's hard erection against his hipbone.
His uncle pressed his hand to Styxx's neck, just under his jaw. He choked as his breathing was cut off. His ears buzzed.
And as he passed out, he felt his uncle lick his throat. "You think you were fucked before, little squirrel? You're about to learn lesson two. "
October 22, 9533 BC
His head reeling and his body aching as if he'd been run over by stampeding horses, Styxx came awake to find himself facedown on a bed with black sheets. There was a huge fire roaring just across from him along with four braziers. He started to move then realized his arms and legs were secured to the bedposts by the same kind of gold rings Acheron had worn.
He now had an identical set of bands on his wrists, ankles, biceps, and neck.
Furious, he snatched as hard as he could.
"Stop before you hurt yourself. "
He glared at Estes as his uncle neared the bed with a small tray. Setting it down beside Styxx's hips, he slid onto the mattress.
Styxx tried to insult him, but he had a gag in his mouth that prevented it.
Estes poured a thick milky liquid onto his fingertips. Once they were well coated, he slid them into Styxx's rectum.
Styxx screamed out in protest.
"Stop!" Estes snapped again. "I'm trying to teach you how to tend yourself on your way home. Believe me, you're going to want the numbing gel, especially since you'll be riding a horse for the next week, and probably a few other things, too. "
Styxx ground his teeth as tears of frustration and shame welled in his eyes. As much as he hated to admit it, the cool, soothing gel did feel good, and it went a long way to making that part of his body not burn and throb anymore.
"That's it, my royal stallion. Relax. " Estes pulled his hand away then added more gel before he reapplied it to Styxx. "You want to make sure you coat yourself well. "
Next, Estes reached for the red clay pot. He pulled out a small rod and met Styxx's angry glare. "This is called a suppository. It's for the pain you're in. "
Styxx screamed again as his uncle pressed it deep into his body.
"Shh. Stop clenching. It needs to go in far enough that your body keeps it or it won't do you any good. "
Styxx growled as more humiliation stabbed him.
After a minute, Estes pulled back and wiped his hands off on a small, damp towel. There was an evil, smug glint in his icy eyes. "Now as you lie there in your fury, I want you to note that the last thing you remember is being in my study right after Acheron left. I don't know if you remember our fight or not, but that was over six weeks ago. "
Styxx's breath left him as if he'd been punched. Six weeks? No. The bastard was lying. He had to be . . .
Six weeks?
"Atlantis has a lot of wondrous innovations. And they excel at medicines and knowledge of herbs and their effect on humans and their emotions and memory. Which is why your pain should be fading right about now. "
He was right. Not even his head hurt.
"The first thing I learned when I was sent here was how to manipulate their herbs and medicines. Just as you have no memory of the last six weeks, Acheron has no memory of your being here at all. Even though you've been with him off and on these weeks past, and even though you tried to free him. The last memory he has of his brother is the day we rode away from your palace. "
Styxx was stunned.
"That is your second lesson. I can take you from your father at any time and own you. You won't even know that I've done it. Nor will you know what's been or is being done to you. But you will be a willing participant. In fact, I learned a few fascinating things myself that I shan't soon forget. Such as I can make you suck a cock in less than a day, and in less than two, I can have you begging to be fucked in the ass until you bleed. "
Styxx felt his stomach heave at those words. He was lying.
He had to be.
"I know you don't believe me. But I promise you, having you and your brother together is one of my fondest memories. And you've no idea how much money I've made off the two of you these weeks past. . . . Oh, and just so you know, your most uttered phrase while you've been here? 'Hand, ass, or mouth? Where do you want to come on me, my lord?'"
While Styxx gagged, Estes sighed as if savoring the memory. "Letting you go home is the hardest thing I think I've ever done. For that, you have your father to thank. So I suggest you treat him with all due respect. " He ran his hand over Styxx's buttocks. "As much as I love this hot little ass of yours, I know how much you mean to my brother. And I do love my brother. I'd never cause him harm. "
You're mad! Did he not know how much grief this would cause his father if he ever learned what Estes had done?
"That's why I know you're not going to tell him anything about our time together. Because if I have to kill him over you, there will be no one to stop me from owning and fucking you forever. Nothing to keep me from selling you to anyone I choose. "
Estes ran his hand up Styxx's back. "While I've kept you, I've been writing to Xerxes and letting him know that you were staying here. He thinks that you wanted to talk to me privately and had tried to catch me before I left Didymos, and that I convinced you to come stay with me here for a few weeks so that we could bond. I've told him that I continued your studies while you were with me . . . and that I have. When next you fuck someone and you realize you have knowledge and skills that leave them begging you to stay with them, you'll know whom to thank. Were I you, I wouldn't tell him that, though. I'd say that you were practicing your conversational, economic, and political skills with Atlantean noblemen and princes. Which is true. You have been quite the diplomat as I whored you, and you've learned a whole new Atlantean vocabulary. "
Estes leaned forward and bit Styxx's thigh so hard, Styxx cried out in pain. "You will also tell Ryssa that Acheron is well and happy. And that you had a great time with your brother and with me . . . which you did. And when next I come to visit you in Didymos, you will receive me and be happy to do so. From now on, like Acheron, you will do anything I ask you to. "
Bullshit!
Estes smiled. "I see that fury, little nephew. But let me show you something. " He left the bed to fetch a hand mirror. He brought it over and lifted Styxx's hips to show him that all of his pubic hair had been removed. And as disturbing as that was, it paled to what he saw branded way too close to his cock. The words "tsoulus whore" in both Atlantean and Greek. If that wasn't bad enough, below the words was a smaller version of the slave stamp that Acheron had branded into his hand.
"Once your hair grows back, no one will know it exists except me, you, the guard I paid this morning to brand it there . . . and whatever lover you allow to suck your cock. In theory, if it disturbs you overmuch, you can have someone brand over it. Of course, they'll know what it is. And even if you do distort the brand, it will be obvious what you've done and why you did it. "
Estes pulled the mirror away. "Now, all I have to do is report you as a missing slave anywhere outside of Didymos and you will either be returned to me or sold at market. And keep in mind, my little squirrel, I didn't just brand you as a slave. I've marked you as a trained tsoulus. If you want to know what happens to any tsoulus who is caught without their idikos, talk to Acheron. One time was all it took for him to learn not to leave this palace without me and a substantial escort. "
So that was why his brother had refused to go with him. . . .
Great.
"Lastly, in case you're thinking you can bribe one of my servants to tell your father that I kept you here against your will . . . none of them except two members of my personal guard ever knew you were here. None of them. And while you were fucked numerous times by twenty-two different men, not counting me, they will never breathe a word of it for many reasons. "
Estes returned the mirror to the bedside table. "As I said, I'm letting you go this one and only time with a warning because I love Xerxes, and while he is uncertain about your origins, he does love you, and your loss would completely devastate him. But should you ever come near Acheron or Atlantis again, I will own you, body and soul. So rather than worry about your brother, you should be worried more about your own lusciously fuckable ass. "
He lifted Styxx's right ankle up, freeing it from the hook that had held it. Next, he removed the gold cuff. Then he moved to the other.
"Oh . . . I almost forgot. " He went back to Styxx's head and pulled out his gag. "Open your mouth. "
"Fuck you!"
Estes laughed. "Little stallion, you already have. Many times and in many ways, and you will do so again many more. Now open your mouth. "
Styxx refused.
"Suit yourself. But do be careful. Should the erotiki sfaira in your tongue strike your teeth, it will break them. "
No . . .
Styxx rubbed his tongue against the roof of his mouth and then froze in horror. It was true. He did have one.
Estes winked at him. "You're not quite as accomplished at using it as Acheron, since he's had a lot more experience, but you came a long way fast. . . . Now, would you like me to remove it?"
Styxx opened his mouth immediately.
Laughing, Estes took it out then held it up with a smile. "I shall keep this as a memento of our sweet time together, and in hopes that one day you will be stupid enough to return here. " He released Styxx's right arm. "Now ready yourself to leave while I try to find an escort that will take you home without riding you every step of the way. And don't worry if they do-I'll send some herbs with you that will help with any pain they cause. " Then he was gone.
Stunned to the core of his being, Styxx lay there, trying to absorb everything Estes had said. To come to terms with what had been done to him without his consent or knowledge.
Things he had no recollection of at all . . .
After a few minutes, he got up and went to bathe. The fact that he knew instinctively where to go added validity to everything Estes had told him.
In the bathing room, which had mirrors lining all four walls, he froze at the sight of himself. His hair was longer and he had a light dusting of whiskers on his chin and cheeks. Yet what filled him with complete consternation were the marks all over his body. Not just the brand that was still raw and bleeding, but dozens of bruises, scratches, and bite marks. He could see where someone had suckled different parts of him, and in some places, such as his thighs and arms, there were complete handprints.
And he had no memory of any of it. Not a single glimmer.
Part of him was grateful for that. Yet at the same time it was the most disconcerting thing imaginable. To know that you had been violated and used and to know nothing of the people who had done it to you.
Not entirely true. He knew Estes . . .
Covering his face with his hands, he wanted to scream from the horror of it.
At least Acheron doesn't remember. Unlike Styxx, his brother would never know what had happened to them. What they'd been forced to do.
It's all my fault. All of it. Had he just stayed home, like Estes had said, it wouldn't have happened. He should have worried about his own ass more than Acheron's.
I won't ever make this mistake again. He'd come to help his brother and Acheron had handed him over to their uncle. It was a lesson he wouldn't forget. Ever.
He would never forgive Acheron for that. How could he? Given how twisted Estes was, it was the worst sort of betrayal.
Styxx looked down at the words branded on his groin and rage filled him anew. While Acheron was marked with a general slave symbol, he didn't have "whore" written on his body.
In two languages.
If anyone ever saw it, it'd be worse than having them ask about the scars the priests had given him. They would know Styxx had been whored. . . .
No. Trained and then whored.
Consumed with hate and fury, Styxx picked up the stool next to him and slammed it up against the glass, shattering it. Bellowing with the weight of his humiliation, he pounded the wall until he was spent and too tired to continue.
Surrounded by broken glass, he sank to his knees and raked his hands through his hair. How could he ever face his father? Or anyone else knowing what'd been done to him?
Acheron was right . . .
For all his title and worldly position, Styxx was powerless.
October 28, 9533 BC
Styxx's hands shook as they rode through the gates of his father's palace grounds. He found no joy at his homecoming. Just an awful sense of dread and desolation. But at least now he'd be free of his uncle's men, who'd proven to be every bit as depraved as the bastard they served.
As they neared the palace, he looked up to see his father, Ryssa, and their servants gathered to welcome him back. The musicians started their fanfare.
It took every ounce of his will not to jerk his horse around and spur it into a dead run to get as far away from here as he could. He couldn't imagine what punishment his father would give him for leaving without notice. He could already hear the rant in his head.
Is that your answer to your problems, boy? To run away like a coward? To abandon your kingdom because you didn't feel well, et cetera, et cetera.
He'd be lucky if he didn't get slapped on the stairs in front of everyone.
Dismounting, Styxx took a deep breath and forced himself to climb the steps to where his father waited. He'd only taken two of them before his father came rushing down them to grab him into a fierce embrace. He cradled the back of Styxx's head in his great paw of a hand and held him as if he were a small child.
"I have missed you, boy," he breathed before pulling back to place a kiss to each of Styxx's cheeks. "No, not boy. " He put his hands on Styxx's shoulders and smiled at him. "You're a man and I mustn't forget that. "
Who are you and what in the name of Hades have you done with my father?
Terrified, Styxx glanced around, but no one else seemed to think this odd.
His father pulled him back into his arms and held him there for a full minute before he kissed his head and released him. "How was your trip?"
I'd have rather journeyed through Tartarus with scorpions strapped to my groin.
"Fine. "
"You look as if you've grown again. I swear you're taller every day. Let me know if your armor doesn't fit and I'll have more made immediately. "
You're fucking with me, aren't you, old man? We're going to go inside the palace and then you'll slap the shit out of me.
Taking his arm, his father led him to Ryssa, who greeted him with her usual snotty aloofness.
At least someone hasn't been partaking of lotos.
She lightly kissed each of his cheeks. "I want you to know that you almost killed your father with worry. Until he received Uncle's letter, he thought you kidnapped or worse. "
"Ryssa!" his father snapped. "Mind your place, woman. "
"I am minding my place, Father. He should know what he put you through with his thoughtless selfishness. It's time he learned to think of someone other than himself. "
"Bah, pay her no heed. She's a woman. She doesn't understand the needs of men. Come, Styxx, I have the wine warmed and fresh bread and cheeses for you. I'm anxious to hear how things are with Estes and Atlantis. "
Styxx felt his sister's glare on him the whole way up. And he also noticed the one person who wasn't there. "How's Mother?"
His father sighed heavily. "Ever the same. Lost in her cups. "
And hating them all with every sip she took. Except for Ryssa, who could never do wrong.
As they entered the dining room, his father released him so that he could take a seat while the servants brought them refreshments.
This messed with his mind even more than what Estes had done to him. "Father? May I ask something?"
"Absolutely. "
Styxx indicated the mini banquet that was set out. "What is all this? I was expecting your anger and censor. " The back of your hand across my mouth . . .
"To be honest, I am angry. Furious, point of fact. But when your uncle wrote to me, he reminded me of a few things. "
His stomach drew tight with dread. "Such as?"
"That at your age, I was married and expecting my first child. "
Both his father's wife and child had died during the birth. He'd married Styxx's mother a year later.
"And that I was only a handful of months older than you when I ascended to the throne. He was right. I do still see you as an infant and I have too long treated you as one. I should never have had you whipped on your return. You're too old for that. It's time I trusted myself and your tutors to have given you the foundation you need to be the man I know you can be. Far too long, I have allowed my fears and doubts to color my sight where you're concerned. " He tapped his fingertip against the table. "From this day forward, that changes. "
Leaning back, his father rang for his servants. "Fetch the prince's gifts. "
Completely floored, Styxx didn't move until they brought in a kopis, xiphos and hoplon and placed them on the table before him. They were supposed to have been given to him months back, but his father had refused.
You're not fit for them. . . .
Rising, his father handed him the sword. "Galen assures me that this will please you. "
Amazed by its beauty, Styxx stood and unsheathed it. Similar to Galen's, this one was marked with a laurel crown and the words "to be rather than to seem. " Then he looked at his red hoplon that held a black phoenix with the same crown above it. The crest was topped with the words "I defend. " Even though he'd been informed of their creation, this was the first time he'd actually seen them.
"Thank you, Father. "
His father inclined his head to him. "You are now the champion of this kingdom, and you have earned the honor. "
Strange, he felt more like a fraud. He wasn't a man. In truth, he wanted to go hide until his shame and pain were gone.
How would you look at me, Father, if you ever learned what was done to me? That he was so weak and ineffectual that he'd been held down and used against his will, and that the only thing he'd been able to do was cry while they violated him.
Even their scold . . .
His father gave him a quick embrace. "I know you're tired from your journey. Go and rest. We can speak later. "
Yes, he was tired. But more than that, he was confused and he had no one to turn to with it. No one to confide in. The bitter reality of that slapped him hard. He was alone in his hell and maybe that was the way it should be.
'Cause the gods knew he never wanted anyone to know the horrors he'd been through.
As he turned to leave, his father stopped him. "By the way, your room's been moved. "
"Pardon?"
"It was a boy's room. "
Frowning, he followed his father up the stairs to the opposite wing, where his father's chambers were. While his father's room was at the end of the hall, Styxx's was just off the stairs now.
His father opened the door then stood back for Styxx to enter. The moment he did, his eyes went wide. Massive compared to his old room, this one was finally the size of his sister's. Made up of four rooms that opened into each other, it had its own dining room, bedchambers, receiving area, and bathing room.
"Does it please you?"
"Yes, Majesty. "
His father started to leave then grabbed him into another massive embrace. "Your sister was right," he whispered in Styxx's ear. "I thought I'd lost you forever. I pray to the gods that you never know the sorrow and fear I felt in my heart when I found you gone with no explanation, and I pray that I never know it again. I love you, Styxx. To the depth of my soul. "
The incongruity of that statement with the things his father had said and done to him in the past . . .
It ranked with his mother's semi-sober declarations of maternal love and affection she'd occasionally given. And they all left him baffled.
If you really loved me, how could you banish my twin as if he was nothing?
How could his father have walked out on him when he'd been broken and bleeding in the Dionysion?
No matter what his father said, did, or gave, nothing would ever undo either of those actions. How could it?
Clapping him on the shoulder, his father turned and left.
Styxx set his swords and shield on the dining table and tried to come to terms with everything that had happened to him in such a short amount of time. Nothing felt real right now. It was as if he walked in a dream, detached from his body and from the world.
And while he had no memory of what Estes had done to him these weeks past, he had full knowledge of the hunting party, the scold and the journey home.
I will never be the same. . . .
Styxx opened his purse and pulled out the herbs his uncle had sent home with him. Wanting to get away from everything, he went to his bed. But not even that was comforting.
His father had placed all of his linens and pillows in here, not knowing that the smallest pillow on that bed had belonged to Acheron.
Styxx ground his teeth as a wave of pain so severe it left his heart bleeding ravaged him. They had been so close as boys. Best friends. He'd shared everything with Acheron.
And now . . .
Acheron hated him as much as Ryssa did. His brother had no use for him whatsoever.
He winced as he remembered Estes's confessed perversions about his time in Atlantis. He still didn't know if it was true or not. I hope to the gods that I never know. Because he wasn't sure he could handle it if it was the truth.
Dropping his cloak, he looked down at the bruises that verified his use. Why wouldn't the damn things heal already? Not that it would matter. Even once they were gone, he'd still be branded as a whore.
That mark would be with him forever.
Unable to deal with it, he dropped a handful of herbs into the kylix near his bed and poured wine over them. The sooner he could drug or drink himself into oblivion, the happier he'd be. He gulped it all down in one shot and then glared at the pillow that reminded him of the childhood he'd lost. The love and friendship he'd never have again.
The innocence.
Most of all, it reminded him of the fact that when he'd risked his life to save Acheron, Acheron had called out for Estes and caused Styxx to be taken. While he'd tried to free Acheron, Acheron had trapped him.
"You fucking bastard!" he snarled, grabbing the pillow. His rage spurring him, he threw it into the fire and let the flames burn it to embers.
Then he sank to his knees on the floor and tried his best to blot out everything. But it was useless. The new memories tortured him even more than his old ones had.
I am damned.
And there was no escape from his mind that flogged him a thousand times worse than any scold ever could.
October 30, 9533 BC
"Did you say or do something to your sister?"
It took Styxx a moment to make sense of those words from his father. He'd only seen her once since his return. She'd asked him about Acheron and he'd refused to speak a word of anything to do with Atlantis. She'd called him selfish, slapped him, and left.
Blinking, he looked up from his breakfast and shook his head. "No, Father. Why?"
"She's gone to visit my sister in Athens. I know she gets her whims and travels, but this one seems more sudden than normal. "
Styxx rubbed at his brow as his head spun. While the herbs Estes had given him made his thinking fuzzy, they removed the pain and voices. It was worth the delayed reaction time to have that small peace.
"Ryssa doesn't talk to me about such things. Perhaps you should ask Mother. "
"She flies into a rage if I go near her. "
But she never tried to stab you in the heart.
"Then I'm at a loss, Father. I've never understood Ryssa's mind. "
"I wonder if it has anything to do with her maid. . . . "
"Her maid?"
"The one you impregnated. Ryssa's been in a foul mood since the chit confessed it. She dismissed her immediately. "
"I didn't-"
His father held his hand up to silence him. "I took care of the matter. Don't let it concern you. "
If he were sober, he probably would, but as it was . . . whatever.
His father left him.
"I still didn't sleep with her," he mumbled, reaching for his kylix of wine. He'd never touched a woman and now he doubted if he ever would.
Even his wife.
The last thing he wanted was to risk anyone seeing the word on his groin. And with a woman, if she did, she'd run and tell everyone about it because that was what they all did. He had yet to meet one capable of a maintaining a secret unless it protected her.
As for men?
He'd rather die than ever do that again. So here he was, a well-trained tsoulus who was celibate. He would laugh if the entire matter didn't sicken him so.
Estes had taken much more than his virginity and innocence . . . more than his little brother, he'd stolen part of Styxx's soul and all of his future.
How could he ever trust anyone now?
All of his dreams of finding a woman who could love him . . . gone as fast as Estes had drugged him that first time.
He would hate his uncle if he had any room left for it. But he hated himself too much to hate anyone else.
Fuck it, he snarled silently as he reached for his pouch and pulled out more of the herbs. He was getting low on them. Later, he'd go into town and see if he could find someone who peddled them.
For now.
He sucked his breath in sharply as a sudden pain went through him, and placed his hand to his groin where the brand still hurt at times. The moment his fingers accidentally brushed against his cock, he jerked his hand away.
I can't even masturbate now. Because every time he touched himself, even to bathe or piss, he remembered Estes holding him with their hands entwined. . . .
Grimacing in distaste and horror, Styxx grabbed the rest of the herbs and dumped them in his cup. "I just want to forget everything. "
He downed the entire contents of the cup and cursed out loud. Why, when Estes had the ability to remove it, had his uncle left him with the memory of the nine days he'd spent with them in the woods?
Because he's a fucking sadistic whoreson.
And Styxx was his well-used whore.
November 4, 9533 BC
Styxx clenched his hand before his father saw it shaking uncontrollably. They were holding open court sessions for the nobles and citizens, and he knew well how his father reacted whenever he tried to excuse himself. He ground his teeth to keep them from chattering.
What is wrong with me?
He felt ill and disoriented, and for once, he hadn't drugged himself. Theoretically, he was sober. But it sure didn't seem that way.
"Majesty? Is His Highness all right?"
Styxx cringed at the senator who'd asked the question. Why did someone always have to pull him into a fire?
His father glanced over at him then gaped. "Styxx? Are you ill?"
He wiped at the sweat in his eyes. "I'm fine, Father. "
To his shock, his father came over to him. "Look at me. "
He obeyed as his father placed his hand to his brow.
"Fetch a physician!" His father stepped back. "Teris? Carry the prince to his bed and be quick about it. "
He must be near death for his father to be this concerned. "I'm fine, Father. We can continue. "
His father shook his head as Teris, his father's personal guard, moved to pick Styxx up. "Have the rest of the sessions canceled with my apologies. Tell them we'll resume in the morning. "
When Teris reached to touch him, Styxx bolted from his throne. "I can walk. " But it wasn't easy. He was so dizzy.
"At least let Teris help you. "
Styxx shook his head. He never wanted to feel another pair of male hands on his body again. They could all rot in Tartarus.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, Galen appeared by his side. "Give me your arm, Highness. "
Styxx relaxed at the presence of the one and only person he trusted, and did as Galen ordered. At least when Galen knocked him around, he was open about it.
And Styxx always had a weapon in his hand.
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