Deadmen Walking Page 16

  Cameron gasped as she realized what that meant and why Du was so very evil. “If there’s no treatment, can it ever be healed?”

  Again, she shook her head. “It’s what causes his eyes to turn red whenever he becomes angry. What makes him an unreasonable beast. It’s a credit to him that he contains his madness as well as he does. Most are driven so insane by it that they have to be put down like rabid animals.”

  “‘Most’ implies that some escape.”

  Mara sighed as she poured more drink. “There are legends—silly ones, of course—that claim they can be saved by true love’s kiss. Or the hand of one who can see past the beast to love them in spite of their cruelty. But that’s such hokum as to be ridiculous.”

  “You don’t believe in love?”

  How could she? She’d never seen it in her extremely long life. And she’d seen some rather miraculous things. But never love. Never anything close to what the poets described in their ridiculous songs. “Do you, Miss Jack?”

  “Aye. Me brother loves his Lettice. It’s why I think we’ll find him. He won’t leave her. Not without a bitter fight.”

  “Then they are lucky, indeed.”

  Cameron sipped at her rum. “So you’ve never been in love, then?”

  She shook her head. “My people didn’t believe in it. Not the way humans do. And the gods know Du’s definitely didn’t. He’d laugh like a madman if you ever so much as hinted at it. They only believed in duty, honor, and family.”

  “You mock that?”

  “’Tis not mockery you detect in my tone. Just pity. No matter how noble something is as a concept, when taken to extremes, anything can become corrupted and used as a vehicle for evil.”

  “So you think the captain is beyond all redemption?”

  Mara paused at the question. A few months back, she’d have said yes unequivocally.

  Now …

  She scowled as her gaze went past Cameron’s shoulder to focus on Devyl’s massive form, headed for them. There was an intensity to his swagger that she hadn’t seen in a long time. One he reserved for battle.

  Or enemies he intended to gut.

  He hadn’t approached her with it since the day they first met, and it wrung the same reaction from her now as it’d done then. Her gut tightened as every part of her sanity screamed for her to run.

  Unfortunately, flight wasn’t in her. So she stood her ground, even though a part of her expected to wet herself at any moment.

  Without a word, he took her arm in a fierce grip and hauled her from the galley to the upper deck.

  “What are you doing?”

  He practically carried her. Though he was insistent, he wasn’t rough, per se. Still, it unsettled her. And it seriously rankled her.

  But not as much as his continued silence on the matter.

  “Duel! Answer me! What is this about?”

  “You wanted to learn to protect yourself. I’m here to teach you.”

  What? Stunned and confused, she blinked at him as he finally let loose of her arm so that she stood in the center of the deck, near the mainmast. “Pardon?”

  He handed her a sword. “You’re going to learn to fight.”

  Now? Had one of the demons possessed him? She’d never seen him quite like this. And she’d been jesting earlier. Surely he’d known that. By his actions, she’d assumed he’d known it for the japing it was.

  Glancing around at the crew that had paused to watch them, she shook her head. “I don’t need to learn to fight.” It was what she had him for.

  “Aye, you do.” He pressed the cool grip of the hilt into her hand.

  She refused to take it. “What are you about?”

  Pure unmitigated fury darkened his brow. It was so cold and fierce that it actually scared her—something she wouldn’t have thought possible. “Take. The. Sword.” Each clipped word cut even more sharply than that weapon would.

  “What is wrong with you?”

  His eyes flared vibrant red. “Take that sword!” he growled in that deep, demonic rumble. “Now!”

  “Nay, I will not.”

  Du shoved her back. “Is that your answer then? To let your enemies have you? To bleed? To die? To do nothing while they rape and dismantle you?”

  “Captain?”

  Du shot a fire blast at William as he came forward to lend a hand to her. “Stay out of this, Mr. Death, before I make your last name a permanent condition not even Thorn can save you from.” He turned back toward her. “Is it?”

  Her lips trembling, she hesitated at the sight of what she saw in those red eyes. There was something a lot darker than a demon soul inside him. Something a lot worse had its claws in his heart. “Duel … I’m not going to get hurt.”

  “Don’t patronize me. Not after what happened today.” He grabbed her hand and forced her grip around the hilt of the sword. “Take it and learn to protect yourself!”

  With a ragged breath, she shook her head. “You can’t teach me to fight in one day … in one session. Duel, you know this! A single lesson is absolutely worthless. Do you really think you can train me to be you in one afternoon? How long did it take you to learn your craft or train an army?”

  Anguish lined his brow as her sanity broke through his madness. His own breathing picked up speed. He glared at her with the worst hatred she’d ever seen on his face. It made a mockery of what he’d directed at her on the day they’d met. “I won’t bury you! Do you hear me, Mara! I won’t do it!”

  Those words baffled her. “Then graft me and I’ll return.”

  His nostrils flared and for the merest instant she’d have sworn she saw tears in his eyes before he stormed off toward his cabin.

  Relieved, shaking, and still quite terrified, she glanced about at the stark and pale faces of the crew, all frozen in place by their captain’s strange outburst.

  William was the first to recover himself. “Are you all right, mum?”

  She nodded. “See to the ship, Mr. Death.”

  “Aye, mum.”

  With a deep breath to attempt to settle her raw nerves, she headed after Du.

  Cameron was nearest the cabin door. “Are you sure you want to go in there alone?”

  Not really. But it had to be done.

  “Aye. I don’t think he’ll harm me.”

  Or so Mara hoped.

  Cameron arched a skeptical brow.

  Not that Mara blamed her for her doubt. She wasn’t so sure herself. That had been quite an explosive display Duel had given them.

  Offering a smile she was certain didn’t reach her eyes, she headed into the cabin to check on Duel.

  He was knocking back something she was positive he shouldn’t be drinking.

  “Du?”

  He froze instantly for a few heartbeats, then drained his goblet.

  Her hand shaking, she reached out and touched his shoulder. “Talk to me.”

  Snorting, he poured more blood.

  She caught his hand to keep him from imbibing any more, then gently took the cup and set it aside. When he started away, she fisted her hand in the billowiness of his sleeve. The size of him overwhelmed her for a moment. It was easy to forget sometimes just what a massive beast he was.

  But this close …

  He could tear her apart.

  Yet he didn’t move. Even though his fury reached out like a tangible force, he stayed completely still in front of her. The only movement was the tic in his whiskered cheek that kept time with his rapid breathing.

  “Why are you so angry?”

  He growled like a rabid predator. “Why didn’t you fight them?”

  “They were children.”

  “They were demons.”

  “I didn’t realize that until it was too late.”

  Pain flickered across his brow. It darkened his eyes back to their natural black state before they flared red again. “You’re just like them. I hate you for it.”

  Those words should hurt her. They should cut, but the agony beneath them said that his hatred was directed more at himself than at her. “Them who? Vine?”

  A single tear fell down his cheek. So fast and unexpectedly that her jaw dropped.

  He swallowed and shrugged it away on his shoulder, then stepped back and cleared his throat. “You should leave.”

  Like hell!

  “Not until you explain this to me … Duel. Please.”

  Devyl started to tear into her. It was what he’d have normally done.

  What he wanted to do. And yet he couldn’t bring himself to hurt her. And for that, he hated himself all the more. Damn it to hell and back. And damn him, too. Why had he always been weak where she was concerned?

  It was what had brought them to this place and time. What had allowed her to bind them. That one moment when he’d been so furious and bloodthirsty …

  He’d looked down into her terrified amber eyes as she stood so bravely and defiantly against him, and lost himself to her completely.

  It was why he’d slept with Vine originally. While their coloring was different, their features were not. The two women could be twins but for their hair color, and oft at night, he’d closed his eyes and imagined Vine with hair of silvery white and eyes of amber. That she smelled of feathery roses and spice.

  But in the end, Vine had been a cold substitution he’d used, hoping to drive Mara out of his thoughts. Hoping to purge the unholy craving he had for her from his heart.

  In spite of it all, he was forever drawn to her. Against all sanity and reason.

  All common fucking sense.

  Like now.

  Wincing, he closed his eyes and swallowed hard. Why not tell her at this point? Why continue the farce that had driven him to more madness than the curse her people had placed on his? It seemed ludicrous.

  So he took a deep breath and finally spoke the single coveted truth that had lived inside him for countless centuries. “You remind me so much of my mother and sisters.”

  “Pardon?”

  He turned to lay his fingers against the coolness of her pale cheek. The softness of her skin reminded him of a fragile flower petal. The kind Elf used to make and line their beds with. “You’re a white oak. Me mother was a dera sylph.”

  She let out a soft gasp as that unexpected news hit her. Her eyes widened as she stared up at him in utter disbelief. By her expression, he could tell that she didn’t want to believe him. That she wasn’t quite sure if he was being honest or trying to deceive. But this was one thing he’d never lie about. After all, it was the one thing he’d spent a lifetime denying and hiding with everything he had.

  A dark secret he was entrusting to her alone.

  “What?”

  “Aye. Elm. She was designated as my father’s guardian when he left Alfheim to take his place as the leader of the Dumnonii. She was supposed to keep him grounded and stable. Never were they to marry.”

  Because it was forbidden. A Druid-Aesir was never to touch his guardian Deruvian. They paid homage to them and set up nemetons for their honor and comfort.

  Never were they to “know” or marry them.

  Her breathing turned ragged as she continued to struggle with an impossible truth. Not that he blamed her. There were times when it was preposterous to him as well.

  “That’s the secret of your power.”

  He nodded. “Why no one could ever defeat me. I’m not just an Aesir, but Vanir and dark Adoni, too.”

  Covering her mouth, she let out a ragged sigh as she finally appeared to accept it, even though her amber eyes were still troubled. “Did Vine ever know?”

  “Nay. I’ve never told anyone.”

  She arched both brows at that shocking declaration. And again, he couldn’t blame her. They were enemies, after all. Had been for countless centuries. “Why tell me?”

  He let out a bitter laugh at a question that surely had to be transparent. “Don’t you know, Mara?” He took her hand in his and led it to his heart. His eyes faded to black.

  Mara swallowed hard at the fierce beating of his heart beneath the palm of her hand. At the tender heat in his eyes as he watched her with an expectation she couldn’t even begin to fathom.

  She was still reeling from his news. Reeling from this new side of him that she’d never known existed.

  And now this?

  It was more than she could cope with at once. More than anyone could handle. Honestly, she’d rather battle demons out to steal her soul than deal with these strange feelings that made no sense to her. Face down the real devil than think for one second that she might have tenderness for Devyl Bane—the scourge of her people. The creature who’d torn her world apart and left her with nothing and no one.

  Nay, she hated him.

  Aye, she did. She must remember that. Hold to that. It was the truth.

  Was it not?

  Determined to stay the course, she met his gaze unflinchingly. “You know there’s nothing but hatred between us, Du.”

  A deep, heart-wrenching sadness darkened the shade of his eyes. “Aye.” Letting out a tired sigh, he lifted her hand to his lips and placed a tender kiss to her knuckles before he headed back to the main deck.

  Mara didn’t move as she heard him calling orders to the others. As the sea rocked against her planks and she felt the motion of the waves.

  And inside her body, she was as hollow as the ship itself. Hollow because she knew who the real beast was on board.

  For once, it wasn’t Devyl Bane.

  Remember, sister … you bring me Du’s heart and I will see to it that you’re set free to live out your life independent of the ties that bind you to his fate. I swear it.

  While she wasn’t sure she could trust Vine, she knew she could trust in her sister’s hatred of her ex-husband. To get him in her clutches, there was nothing Vine wouldn’t do. And if there was one creature in existence who could undo the spell Mara had cast that united her life to Duel’s …

  It was Vine. That was why she’d followed the demons away from the orphanage. Vine had promised Mara through the guise of the douen that she would free her.

  For too long, Mara had been bound to him. Had been forced against her will to serve him as his helpmate and guardian. To give her blood and powers for his spells. This ship was a prime example. He’d sold his servitude to Thorn, then forced her to become this vessel to carry the lot of them and watch over his crew like some warden that they cursed her for.

  She was done with it. It was time to take back her life.

  Even if she had to end his to do it.

  It’s the right thing to do and you know it in your heart.

  But if that was true, then why did it hurt so much? And why did doubt plague her so?

  11

  Mara leaned her head against the boards as she allowed herself to merge with the wood and seek comfort there. While it wasn’t the same as being in a mother’s arms, it was the closest sensation she’d known since the day the winds had scattered her parents’ essence to the corners of the world, and allowed them to return to the universe that had birthed them.

  Wanting … nay, needing to feel connected again, she touched the locket her mother had given her so long ago and allowed herself to freeze that way as buried memories tore through her.

  So easily, she saw herself as a girl on that day in their small nemeton where they’d made their home. Saw her mother as she placed the locket around her neck and placed a tender kiss to her brow. “What is this, Mam?”

  “That be your harthfret, precious.”

  Scowling, she’d opened her locket to find the glowing and pulsating green kernel inside it. Similar to an acorn, it’d been unlike anything she’d ever seen before. The fire that held the rhythm of a heartbeat mesmerized her as it danced and glistened against her skin. With a child’s enthusiasm, she’d started to bite into it, but her mother had stopped her.

  “Careful, Mara! That’s your life source you hold.”

  “P-pardon?”

  Her mother had laughed and taken the kernel back to return it to its caged nest in her locket. “On the day we’re born, all Deruvians carry a harthfret in their navel that falls free when they lose their umbilical cord. ’Tis said that it was from the first Deruvian and his harthfret that mankind was born to the earth. But because mankind lost their harthfrets, they lost their immortality and higher powers. It’s why they’re so much weaker than we are.”

  “But we kept ours?”

  “Aye. And so long as we have it, we are virtually immortal. With it, we can call on the powers of the universe and command them. It’s our connection to the higher mother. To all that runs through the vast heavens and all the worlds.”

  “Where’s yours?”

  Her mother had smiled. “I planted mine here in the nemeton beside your father’s. One day, you’ll meet the man you love and the two of you will plant your hearts together to put down your own roots. But be warned that when you do so, you will be forever bound to that one place. For all time. So never do so lightly, daughter. It’s the same as a binding spell. You might leave, but you’ll never be whole. And if gone too long from your roots, you will wither and die. For no Deruvian can exist without their life source.”

  “Then I shall never plant my harthfret.”

  Laughing, her mother had tucked her hair behind her ear. “Careful of those convictions, little one. They have an awful way of coming back to haunt us.”

  “I’ll be careful, Mam.”

  “Good, and whatever you do, never let anyone steal your harthfret.”

  “Why?”

  “Because that is the essence of who and what we are. It’s the source of our power. Whoever possesses it can command us to do anything they want. They become our owners and we are enslaved to them, especially if they combine it with their blood. Then there is nothing we can do so long as they live. We are forever their slaves. So guard your harthfret as you would your life, for it’s much more sacred. It, my precious, is your freedom.”

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