Intensity Read online

  "You look a little glum. Been missing Inari?"

  Xev nodded.

  Nick shot off the bed and bolted for the door as he realized this wasn't Xev, but rather the other Malachai--or some other imposter. Inari was the demon who'd suckled Xev--the stepmother demon he hated.

  Myone had been his wife he pined for. And while Cyprian might have known their names, he wouldn't have known the difference between them unless he spent time around Xevikan.

  Then no one would mistake the two women and what they meant to the surly god who was devoted to one, and disgusted by the other.

  A light flashed in Cyprian's eyes as he realized his mistake. "You're a quick one."

  "That I am. And you are not." Nick struggled against the door that wouldn't open and his powers that refused to let him teleport out of here. "Why are you doing this?"

  "Because I need you to forget!"

  "Why?"

  "You're screwing up everything!"

  "Me? You're the one killing innocent people!"

  "I'm cleaning up your mess!"

  "I'm not the one who started this!" Nick attacked him. The two of them went at it with everything they had. Never had Nick wanted to kill anyone so badly. He was sick of it all. Sick of Cyprian copying all of his friends, and pretending to be them at every turn.

  This was crap and they both knew it.

  "Get your own friends and life!" Nick growled at him. "What is wrong with you!"

  "It's not fair for you to have what I want! For you to be so loved and cherished when I'm not!"

  "Dude! Then learn to be lovable and not a psychopath! Practice being a decent human being and stop stealing everything I have. You don't get stuff just because you want it and you demand it like some two-year-old. It's about finding your own way, not taking someone else's life. Be yourself. Not a bad copy of what you stole. Step out of the shadows where you hide from everyone in fear, and into the light. Have the courage to stand by your own convictions, and walk your own path. Do your own thing! You can never build yourself up while you're tearing everyone else down and trying to catch up to them."

  "Then give me what I want!"

  Nick shook his head. "You have to earn your own way, dude. This is my life. This is my world and my family. For that, I will fight you until Lucifer is working in an ice plant."

  "And I'm your son!"

  "I didn't create you. You were ripped from me and made, without my knowledge or consent. That's entirely different!"

  Cyprian kicked him back. "I hate you!"

  "Why? Dude, I never did anything to you. Seriously. If you want to hate, at least give me a chance to screw you over first."

  Shrieking, he ran for him.

  Nick caught him and held him against his chest. His Malachai powers were draining out more and more. There was nothing he could do. If he didn't get away from Cyprian, he'd be as helpless as a kitten soon.

  And still Cyprian pounded against him with so much anger that Nick couldn't fathom it. What could he have done to cause this much animosity in someone he didn't know? All he'd ever done was live his life on his own terms. Be himself.

  It wasn't his fault Cyprian's mom had created him against Nick's wishes and without his knowledge.

  His ears began to buzz as the last of his powers surged and he saw himself in the past. Saw the night that he'd first met Kyrian.

  Life had seemed so easy then. Stay clean. Stay off drugs. Keep his grades up. Don't miss work.

  The only people out to kill him had been his mom whenever he left the toilet seat up.

  Madaug whenever he forgot to complete a homework assignment they'd been given as a joint project, and Brynna for not realizing she had a crush on him.

  When had life gotten so complicated?

  Then he saw the future--not for long, just the tiniest flash of clairvoyance. And he understood the truth of the violent act that had created Cyprian.

  Not one Nick had done against Cyprian's mother.

  An act they had committed against Nick ...

  For all Malachai were created in violence to do violence.

  Holy crap!

  That was one nightmare he hadn't seen coming. Them attacking him. This is what they're trying to protect. Why they wanted him to forget his powers and forget everything.

  His vision dimmed. You can't die. You have to remember this!

  But then, that wasn't the end game.

  I won't be manipulated!

  With a feral growl, Nick dug deep and used the last of his powers to teleport into darkness.

  CHAPTER 7

  His mind reeling from the newfound knowledge, Nick tumbled through the darkness. The rustling sound was deafening. Like birds flapping through the night. He felt the wind against his skin as he sought once more to get his bearings.

  Until he struck solid ground.

  Out of the darkness came a lilting voice.

  "Do you know me?"

  Nick froze at someone who seemed familiar and at the same time foreign. He glanced around the dense forest he didn't recognize. "Where are you?"

  His breath caught as the shimmering Sephiroth woman stepped out of the shadows to his right. Dressed in gilded armor and with black braided hair, she was remarkably beautiful with gold, gossamer wings. Even in height to him, he knew her from the sketches Xev had drawn in his bedroom.

  Myone. The mother of Jared--Nick's archnemesis and grandfather. The one warrior who'd betrayed his entire army to the side of evil in an effort to save what he'd believed was his father's life. However, Jaden wasn't Jared's father. Jaden was Xevikan's father-- Jared's grandfather.

  A lie told to keep Jared and Xev alive and safe from those who would have killed Myone had they learned that she, the pinnacle of all good and the beloved leader of the Kalosum army, had been seduced by the son of ultimate evil--Xev. It wouldn't have mattered that Xev had married her first. Or how much they loved each other. Or that they were completely devoted to one another--indeed, that devotion would have made it all the worse for them, because no one would have ever trusted Myone again as she would have been seen as totally corrupt. For they would have only believed that Xev brought her down to his level. Not that she raised him up to hers.

  Which was the truth. While she was beyond corruption, for her alone, Xev would do anything. She had given him his soul and she was the one and only thing in the universe he would never betray or cause harm to.

  But instead of believing that Xev could be saved, all that would have mattered to the others was that neither she nor her child could ever be trusted, because Xev's blood was demonic. In their minds, that bit of evil would override any amount of good.

  Always.

  Nick knew better. He understood exactly how much sway such kindness had. How much pull his mother and Kody had over him. It wasn't something that could be explained.

  Only experienced.

  How sad an indictment against so many that they couldn't have faith in others to know just how solid such honesty was. That their hearts were so corrupt that they refused to believe creatures like Xev and him were above their pettiness. Yet they were.

  And so they were forced into hiding. Forced into lies they didn't want to live or tell.

  Not because they were wrong or they couldn't be trusted. Because others refused to see the good inside them. Because others refused to believe the goodness inside them.

  Since they lacked it themselves, they refused to see it in anyone else. But denying it didn't kill it. It just made it all the more special and rare.

  And for that reason, Jared had made a deal with the Source of all evil to spare his grandfather's life. And Jaden had enslaved himself in an effort to save Jared so that he wouldn't be killed, along with his army.

  Both betrayed by the gods they'd trusted to deal fairly with them.

  And Myone had paid dearest of all. She'd lost everything in the end. Her son, her husband and her life.

  For that, Nick could weep for them all.

  Now, the Sephiroth warrior stood before him, her scarlet cape draped around a lithe, armored body. It was held back in places from her shoulders by a quiver of arrows and a gilded sword belt.

  "I know you," Nick breathed.

  Indeed, she was a hard one to miss with her gold-kissed skin and shining gold wings. Her braided black hair reflected blue in the dim light. Every exquisite feature was perfection. No wonder Xev had been willing to die for her. That he'd suffered a fate worse than death to protect her and their son, when he'd stepped aside and allowed her to marry his father and pretend that his child belonged to his father so that no one would ever suspect the truth.

  That was the purest form of altruism and love.

  Not once had Xev ever breathed a word of it for fear of causing either his ex-wife or child harm. Nick couldn't imagine the pain and agony Xev had known every day of his life, and he was grateful for that.

  Without a word, Myone watched him curiously. Her shining gold vambraces held an ornate design that designated her as the leader of her Sepherii brethren--their kyra. As did the epaulettes of her uniform. She carried herself like a fierce warrior, even though she was all feminine grace.

  The only piece of jewelry on her body was an out-of-place masculine necklace. One Nick knew belonged to Xev. And only because it was a match for the one Xev wore that symbolized her dainty feathered Sephiroth wing, unlike her roughened batshaped demon piece. How odd that no one had ever realized what those two necklaces meant and why the two of them wore them.

  Her lips trembled as she approached Nick. "You are the only one who has been kind to my Dary. For that I can't thank you enough."

  It took him a second to remember that Xev's real name was Daraxerxes, especially since Xev never used it. "Um, yeah, I guess."

  A tear fell down her cheek. "You are not as the others of your kind."

  "That's what they tell me."

  She smiled sadly. "And they would be right. Do you know where we are?"

  "Not a friggin' clue."

  She laughed. "It is a place that never was. A land of where there can never be. Neither here nor there. It's where we're sent to bleed."

  Dang, she was starting to sound like Nashira now. Made him almost want to reach for his grimiore to see if he'd left it at home. "That makes no sense whatsoever."

  "You're the Malachai, Nick. You know all things. Just look inside and trust in yourself. The answers you seek are already there. You know them. You just don't want to face them. It doesn't matter how many polls you take, or friends you ask. The answers never change. They're already in your heart. You just need to believe in the truth. Believe in yourself. Have confidence."

  That was easier said than done. He was too used to being told he didn't have enough experience. Enough sense. That he was too young to have a clue about anything.

  Now she was telling him to trust an instinct he doubted.

  It was as confusing as his mother teaching him to walk and talk and then the moment he started asking questions about things she didn't want to answer, telling him to sit down and shut up.

  Life. It really needed to come with some kind of instruction booklet. Or at least a help manual. 'Cause most days, it just baffled the crap out of him.

  And before he could get a handle on it, a zeitjager appeared to his left.

  Nick's eyes widened at the creepy plague doctor whose bandages were covered in blood.

  He held his hands up at the creature as it eyed him suspiciously. "Hey, bruh, not the one who broke your time sequence. You're sniffing up the wrong Malachai here." He gestured off to the side. "Head that way. Over there. Off with you. Go on ... Find the other dude."

  Instead, it approached him slowly.

  Fantastic. Just what he wanted for Christmas. Along with a head injury and thorough degutting.

  Nick didn't move, but he did eye the grisly adamantine sickle the beast carried--'cause that was just gooey and gross. He could have done without the bloody stage theatrics. "You know, I heard Ozzy was in town, looking for some new backup singers. You might want to try out ..." Nick's voice trailed off as the creature gave him a menacing glare that said he wasn't amused. "Never mind."

  Cocking its head, it studied Nick even more intently.

  Nick studied him back with the same level of intensity. But this time, he wasn't afraid of the creature. He was beginning to understand it.

  They weren't enemies.

  Nor were they allies.

  He wasn't really sure what they were. At least not until the thing finally spoke in a chilling, broken voice.

  "Cyprian is after you." The zeitjager's voice was brittle and harsh--like an old man who'd smoked too many packs of cigarettes.

  "Pardon?"

  "He has fractured this time and will destroy it all. You have to reset it."

  "How?"

  The zeitjager opened his hand and manifested a glowing skull in his palm. It wasn't quite human, but rather demonic in nature, with tusks that protruded over the jaw, toward the eye sockets. Nick knew instinctively that it belonged to Monakribos. Though how the zeitjager had come into possession of it, he wasn't really sure he wanted to know.

  "You will know what to do, when the time comes."

  "Y'all all keep saying things like that. But really ... I'm about as useful as the G in lasagna."

  It made a peculiar noise that some might consider a laugh. Nick wasn't sure.

  "Reset the sequence and reclaim your fate. You are the Malachai."

  Nick wasn't so sure about that. "And if my fate is to destroy the world?"

  "Have you so little faith in yourself?"

  He had a point.

  Nick took the skull. It had an odd warmth to it. One that didn't make a lot of sense. "Does Cyprian have to be born?" If he could stop that, it seemed like the easiest fix.

  The zeitjager hedged a bit. "Perhaps. But the real question is, does he have to hate you when he's born?"

  Nick hesitated as that opened up a whole realm he hadn't even considered. His mind whirled with entirely new prospects. "You're saying that I can save him?"

  But that didn't make sense. There could only be one Malachai.

  Right?

  "The future is never set, Ambrose. It changes with every decision we make. Until the day you die, it is ever in flux. Pith point, or not."

  And with that, he vanished.

  Stunned, Nick turned to stare at Myone. His breath caught as two images went through his head simultaneously. One was of Xev with Myone. It was a tender embrace with him standing behind her, holding her close in the shadows of her ancient balcony. Both dressed in their battle armor. It was a stolen moment, and the expression on their faces seared him with the depth of how much they loved each other. With the fact that they both knew what they had couldn't last and that if anyone found out, it would end them both.

  Even so, they had forged a love that still haunted them. One that continued to burn inside Xev. Against all odds and all enemies.

  Against all punishments.

  Society be danged.

  The second image was of the two of them on a battlefield, riddled with arrows and wounds. Both of them dying. Weeping, Myone had held Xev against her while he, weakened by blood loss, had tried to wipe the blood from her face.

  Rather than allowing him to die at peace with his love, his enemies had seized him from her arms and dragged him away, even as the life had faded from her eyes. She'd been left to die alone on the battlefield.

  Xev's fate had been far crueler. They'd denied him the release of death, and enslaved and tortured him for all eternity.

  Because he'd dared to fall in love.

  Forced to live without her, and to serve the ones who'd caused her death. No chance to reunite in spirit with his love. No chance to help his son or to spare either of them from their own damnation.

  Xev had been sold by his own father into an eternity of torture. A blood slave to the Malachai and to whatever demons the Malachai chose to feed him to.

  In that moment, Nick felt even more horrible for the two of them. "I'm sorry, Myone."

  "For what?"

  "For what was done to you and to Xev. And Jared."

  A sad smile curved her lips before she walked toward Nick. "It's all right, Nicholas. We couldn't have asked for a more beautiful great-grandson. I'm glad I got to meet you." And with that, she kissed his cheek and vanished.

  Nick couldn't breathe as his own tears choked him. He'd never met his grandparents before. Never mind his great-grandparents. Therefore, he'd never dreamed of what his great-grandparents would be like.

  To have finally met her ...

  His Malachai wings shot out of his back against his will. But instead of being their usual black color, they were as gold as Myone's had been.

  Confused, he stared at them, wishing someone was here to explain that to him.

  What's happening to me?

  Why was he having these visions? Were they real?

  Had he fallen down a real rabbit hole? Or worse, had he drank some of that water? It was possible some had gone into his mouth. He still didn't know what had been in that bottle.

  What the heck is going on?

  Worse, the peculiar rustling began again. Only this time, he had a weird inkling about what was causing it.

  No ...

  It couldn't be.

  Titling his head back, he glanced up at the oddly colored sky, and listened closely. The off-landscape tilted again and the whispering voices echoed.

  You're losing your mind.

  Was he? 'Cause what he was beginning to suspect would make an awful lot of sense.

  And yet ...

  Nick held his hand up and poked at the air. It sizzled.

  Oh yeah, that wasn't normal. Even in his screwed up existence. Swallowing hard, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his hematite pendulum. Please let me be wrong.

  Yet knowing he wasn't, he pricked his finger and drew a bead of blood. He held his breath and then drew with it.

  Instead of falling on the ground as it should have, the air absorbed it and it glowed as bright as the lights on Takeshi's grid.

  More than anything, that confirmed Nick's suspicions.

  He was right.

  Some how, some way, he'd been sucked into his own grimoire.

  CHAPTER 8

  Nick gaped as he watched his blood glowing. It formed intricate sigils all around him in the air. Hovering and dancing. Reforming into intricate designs ...

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